Ruttlarpstan is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, impressive faun.

Ruttlarpstan created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttlarpstan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ruttlarpstan, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ruttlarpstan's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Ruttlarpstan's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six rats approach from the south.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Run away from black sharks, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not kill manatees.