Cebgudveen is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unfair monkey.

Cebgudveen created snails five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebgudveen, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cebgudveen, he will turn you into a snail.

Cebgudveen's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Cebgudveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Cebgudveen loves ducks, so they must be respected.

4. Never feed oranges to grasshopers while wearing cyan shoes.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.