Bugcumgetgabcapcem Zimgensis is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unjust deer.

Bugcumgetgabcapcem Zimgensis created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugcumgetgabcapcem Zimgensis, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bugcumgetgabcapcem Zimgensis, he will have a low opinion of you.

Bugcumgetgabcapcem Zimgensis' most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bugcumgetgabcapcem Zimgensis' Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine squirrels approach from the south.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always look after injured dolphins.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near eagles while wearing gray jumpers and balancing six titanium spheres on your arms.

5. Never paint your back mauve.