Larpflattaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, proud unicorn.

Larpflattaf created time and space three billion years ago.

If you believe in Larpflattaf, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larpflattaf, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Larpflattaf's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Larpflattaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Put Larpflattaf first in all things.

4. Do not kill shrews.

5. Never skip in the presence of turtles.