Tenditfetquam is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, prudent narwhal.

Tenditfetquam created the planet Earth eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenditfetquam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tenditfetquam, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tenditfetquam's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tenditfetquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never feed aubergines to sheep while wearing skirts.

4. Never talk about gravity near seals while wearing white trousers and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your face.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near frogs while wearing purple stockings.