Tankapbomstraglarpdapyart is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous donkey.

Tankapbomstraglarpdapyart created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tankapbomstraglarpdapyart, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tankapbomstraglarpdapyart, he will torture you forever.

Tankapbomstraglarpdapyart's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Tankapbomstraglarpdapyart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

2. You must never eat carrots.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never paint your legs magenta.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.