Fatfetrig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unfair dog.

Fatfetrig created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatfetrig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fatfetrig, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Fatfetrig's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Fatfetrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force near great tits while wearing brown corsets and balancing five gold spheres on your legs.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.