Citbomcen is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, idiotic hamster.

Citbomcen created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Citbomcen, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Citbomcen, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Citbomcen's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Citbomcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not take Citbomcen's name in vain.

3. Citbomcen loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about chlorophyll.