Quafditrak is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, vain eagle.

Quafditrak created time and space eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafditrak, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Quafditrak, he will turn you into a snail.

Quafditrak's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Quafditrak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

3. Always help sick cats.

4. Do not dye your hair pink.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.