Kikganjamzedfonhig is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome meerkat.

Kikganjamzedfonhig created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikganjamzedfonhig, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kikganjamzedfonhig, it will destroy your home solar system.

Kikganjamzedfonhig's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Kikganjamzedfonhig's Holy Commandments

1. Kikganjamzedfonhig loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

2. You must pray to Kikganjamzedfonhig five times a day.

3. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Kikganjamzedfonhig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Never wear stockings.