Artflanlaplabmad Motcussveen is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless snail.

Artflanlaplabmad Motcussveen created the planet Venus eight million years ago.

If you believe in Artflanlaplabmad Motcussveen, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Artflanlaplabmad Motcussveen, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Artflanlaplabmad Motcussveen's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Artflanlaplabmad Motcussveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Artflanlaplabmad Motcussveen in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.