Vonkingnak is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, idiotic lion.

Vonkingnak created oxygen five million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkingnak, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Vonkingnak, it will turn you into a goat.

Vonkingnak's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Vonkingnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention great tits.

2. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Vonkingnak in the centre of the settlement.

3. Run away from gray sheep, for they are unholy.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about nebulae.