Yokvanyartnarl is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, bad-tempered salamander.

Yokvanyartnarl created the planet Mars three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yokvanyartnarl, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yokvanyartnarl, it will turn you into a rat.

Yokvanyartnarl's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Yokvanyartnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about optics.

2. Never hurt aardvarks.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.