Dutfitwod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited giraffe.

Dutfitwod created the Sun two years ago.

If you believe in Dutfitwod, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dutfitwod, she will turn you into a goat.

Dutfitwod's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Dutfitwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six sheep in a large pit.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never wear purple stockings.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Dutfitwod must be the most important thing in your life.