Bifcutyatrat is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, unfair mink.

Bifcutyatrat created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Bifcutyatrat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bifcutyatrat, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Bifcutyatrat's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Bifcutyatrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Bifcutyatrat on top of important buildings.

4. Feed all hungry snails.

5. Do not shave your chest.