Konwotmut is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful human.

Konwotmut created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Konwotmut, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Konwotmut, it will not invite you to parties.

Konwotmut's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Konwotmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Worship no other gods but Konwotmut.

4. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

5. Never think ill of sick rats.