Quartdamdob is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, conceited coyote.

Quartdamdob created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quartdamdob, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Quartdamdob, she will throw large rocks at you.

Quartdamdob's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Quartdamdob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.