Fenbifvag is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, happy spider.

Fenbifvag created a bottom quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fenbifvag, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fenbifvag, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fenbifvag's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Fenbifvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Do not bounce in public.

3. You must pray to Fenbifvag four times a day.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

5. Never think ill of sick dogs.