Lanqueegdan is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, dishonourable dog.

Lanqueegdan created the Large Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Lanqueegdan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lanqueegdan, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Lanqueegdan's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Lanqueegdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about electromagnetism near turtles while wearing blue skirts.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Put Lanqueegdan first in all things.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.