Tarladpop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, unfair pigeon.

Tarladpop created a charm quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarladpop, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tarladpop, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tarladpop's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Tarladpop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never mention voles.

5. Do not speak about melons.