Stragbadbettarpstigjigmitpod is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, intelligent grasshopper.

Stragbadbettarpstigjigmitpod created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Stragbadbettarpstigjigmitpod, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stragbadbettarpstigjigmitpod, he will manifest in front of you.

Stragbadbettarpstigjigmitpod's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Stragbadbettarpstigjigmitpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Erect nine titanium sculptures of Stragbadbettarpstigjigmitpod on top of important buildings.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always obey Stragbadbettarpstigjigmitpod's priests.

5. Run away if three seals approach from the east.