Nuttstaftam Bodrowhim is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, calm guinea pig.

Nuttstaftam Bodrowhim created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttstaftam Bodrowhim, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Nuttstaftam Bodrowhim, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nuttstaftam Bodrowhim's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Nuttstaftam Bodrowhim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. You must never eat melons.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Never feed lemons to eagles while wearing coats.