Gidsawveen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, temperamental armadillo.

Gidsawveen created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gidsawveen, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gidsawveen, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gidsawveen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gidsawveen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair magenta.

2. Do not take Gidsawveen's name in vain.

3. Always look after injured seals.

4. Respect your elders.

5. You must love Gidsawveen.