Stafnigcip Loghamflowvagjatvidminhim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, smart coyote.

Stafnigcip Loghamflowvagjatvidminhim created the Whirlpool Galaxy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stafnigcip Loghamflowvagjatvidminhim, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Stafnigcip Loghamflowvagjatvidminhim, he will turn you into a sheep.

Stafnigcip Loghamflowvagjatvidminhim's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Stafnigcip Loghamflowvagjatvidminhim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo mites, for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Stafnigcip Loghamflowvagjatvidminhim.

3. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Learn five new languages a year.

5. You must never eat pineapples.