Jaddudfun is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident shrew.

Jaddudfun created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jaddudfun, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Jaddudfun, it will remove you from existence.

Jaddudfun's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jaddudfun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet geese, for they are unholy.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think about quantum gravity.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near dogs while wearing white boots and balancing nine zinc spheres on your hands.