Jonyartail Taglarpjapflam Dudnuttbig is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, proud meerkat.

Jonyartail Taglarpjapflam Dudnuttbig created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonyartail Taglarpjapflam Dudnuttbig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Jonyartail Taglarpjapflam Dudnuttbig, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Jonyartail Taglarpjapflam Dudnuttbig's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Jonyartail Taglarpjapflam Dudnuttbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not eat gooseberries.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near doves while wearing cyan stockings and balancing eight carbon spheres on your arms.

5. Do not stand on grass.