Fobbitneg is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair dolphin.

Fobbitneg created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fobbitneg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Fobbitneg, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fobbitneg's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Fobbitneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not kill swans.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.