Pinnillboss Carflowfid is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, awesome crane.

Pinnillboss Carflowfid created oxygen nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Pinnillboss Carflowfid, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Pinnillboss Carflowfid, he will come to you in dreams.

Pinnillboss Carflowfid's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Pinnillboss Carflowfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Pinnillboss Carflowfid.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.