Flamflandud is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, witty hyena.

Flamflandud created the planet Earth two million years ago.

If you believe in Flamflandud, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flamflandud, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flamflandud's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Flamflandud's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Flamflandud.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Flamflandud in the centre of the settlement.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never wear fawn dresses.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.