Flabmegjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a small, quiet meerkat.

Flabmegjarn created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabmegjarn, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flabmegjarn, it will torture you forever.

Flabmegjarn's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Flabmegjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

2. Voles are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flabmegjarn.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near porpoises while wearing fawn boots.

5. You must never eat peanuts.