Zedquambin is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, omnipotent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Zedquambin created silver four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedquambin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zedquambin, she will torture you forever.

Zedquambin's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Zedquambin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about dark energy near ducks while wearing orange hats and balancing seven aluminium spheres on your feet.

3. Feed all hungry snakes.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. You must never eat tomatoes.