Bephasxuc is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, caring dingo.

Bephasxuc created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bephasxuc, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bephasxuc, it will not invite you to parties.

Bephasxuc's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bephasxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of turnips to ducks while wearing green hats.

2. Do not hurt swans.

3. Always help tortoises.

4. Never wear shorts.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.