Negvadvag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise wombat.

Negvadvag created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Negvadvag, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Negvadvag, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Negvadvag's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Negvadvag's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

5. Sharks are not to be trusted.