Jabgetbag is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, ruthless deer.

Jabgetbag created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabgetbag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jabgetbag, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jabgetbag's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jabgetbag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Jabgetbag.

4. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jabgetbag.