Rowbestyarl is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, witless giraffe.

Rowbestyarl created dark matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowbestyarl, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rowbestyarl, he will turn you into a hamster.

Rowbestyarl's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Rowbestyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.