Zoggofbim is a god.

She takes the form of a small, pitiless clam.

Zoggofbim created a top quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zoggofbim, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zoggofbim, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Zoggofbim's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zoggofbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing fawn kilts and balancing five platinum spheres on your arms.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Never talk about foxes.

4. Do not take Zoggofbim's name in vain.

5. Zoggofbim must be the most important thing in your life.