Loopwiprigcarvonmis is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, confident monkey.

Loopwiprigcarvonmis created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopwiprigcarvonmis, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Loopwiprigcarvonmis, she will boil you in a big pot.

Loopwiprigcarvonmis' most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Loopwiprigcarvonmis' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Worship no other gods but Loopwiprigcarvonmis.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

5. Do not leap in public.