Didjoplabcin is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, strong crane.

Didjoplabcin created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Didjoplabcin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Didjoplabcin, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Didjoplabcin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Didjoplabcin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Didjoplabcin.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Always help sick dolphins.