Hadnakpark Nigarmyarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, uncaring wolf.

Hadnakpark Nigarmyarp created Asia six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hadnakpark Nigarmyarp, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hadnakpark Nigarmyarp, she will turn you into a tree.

Hadnakpark Nigarmyarp's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Hadnakpark Nigarmyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never wear kilts.

3. Do not leap in public.

4. Always help sharks.

5. Never eat green fruit.