Wonvinflap is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, grumpy seal.

Wonvinflap created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wonvinflap, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wonvinflap, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Wonvinflap's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Wonvinflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never feed cucumbers to squirrels while wearing cyan skirts.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.