Dutkanjonflat is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, compassionate pigeon.

Dutkanjonflat created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutkanjonflat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dutkanjonflat, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Dutkanjonflat's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Dutkanjonflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not take Dutkanjonflat's name in vain.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not make images of living things.