Quarttapfag is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, smart monkey.

Quarttapfag created gold twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quarttapfag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quarttapfag, he will turn you into a worm.

Quarttapfag's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Quarttapfag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate gulls.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never chant near ducks.

5. Never talk about asteroids.