Flisspagxen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, awesome octopus.

Flisspagxen created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flisspagxen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flisspagxen, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Flisspagxen's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flisspagxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near goats while wearing purple dresses.

2. Do not wear indigo clothing.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Hide from orange otters for they are unholy.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flisspagxen.