Wandidvab is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, awesome guinea pig.

Wandidvab created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wandidvab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wandidvab, she will turn you into a dog.

Wandidvab's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Wandidvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about enzymes.

2. Do not wear violet clothing.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never eat peanuts.

5. Always wear magenta.