Tagsitkop Ragkiplab is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing troll.

Tagsitkop Ragkiplab created the Sol system three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tagsitkop Ragkiplab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tagsitkop Ragkiplab, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tagsitkop Ragkiplab's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tagsitkop Ragkiplab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tagsitkop Ragkiplab.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Never sprint near whales.

5. Always help mice in need.