Hat is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, duplicitous goose.

Hat created water eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Hat, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hat, he will throw large rocks at you.

Hat's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Hat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt eagles.

2. Never run in holy places.

3. Erect five tin sculptures of Hat on top of important buildings.

4. Do not keep seven dolphins in a large pit.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.