Hinjigbapnut is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured duck.

Hinjigbapnut created a bottom quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinjigbapnut, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hinjigbapnut, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hinjigbapnut's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Hinjigbapnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. You must pray to Hinjigbapnut seven times a day.

3. Hinjigbapnut loves goats, so they must be respected.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must never eat garlic.