Zagpadmot is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty snail.

Zagpadmot created everything that exists six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagpadmot, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zagpadmot, she will laugh at you.

Zagpadmot's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Zagpadmot's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Never talk about swans.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Zagpadmot must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect eight silver sculptures of Zagpadmot on top of important buildings.