Bembidjip is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, astonishing capybara.

Bembidjip created time and space four years ago.

If you believe in Bembidjip, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bembidjip, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bembidjip's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Bembidjip's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Put Bembidjip first in all things.

5. Do not kill doves.