Pitarmfem is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish chicken.

Pitarmfem created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitarmfem, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pitarmfem, it will destroy your home solar system.

Pitarmfem's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Pitarmfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never think about stars.